When I was young and I went outside to play with my friends instead of hanging around the house to listen to another screaming match between my parents, they called me “selfish.” Now, as an adult, when I go upstairs for much-needed alone time, my kids think I’m self-centered because I don’t want to chitchat in the living room. I have been accused, in slightly resentful tones, of having “great boundaries” and knowing what I…