Humans are strange creatures. Rather than give ourselves credit for our successes, we tend to dwell on our failures. The problem with this is that by dwelling on our negative outcomes too much, we only spiral into more self-negativity. Since we’re often not even aware of these negative tendencies, the people over at Inc. have compiled six of the most common ways we bring ourselves down—along with alternatives to bring ourselves back up.
Prematurely concluding that you suck at something
It takes time to become great at anything (some say it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master something). People tend to talk negatively to themselves when they aren’t good at something straight away, in turn lowering their own self-esteem. Instead, give yourself permission to suck for a while. With time, you’ll make progress.
Habitually comparing yourself to others
The more we compare to someone else, the more we’re subject to someone else’s expectations (it’s hard enough to live up to our own). In reality, the only comparison that matters is to who you were yesterday. If you’re improving, that’s all that matters.
Berating yourself for your differences
We think our differences make us lesser than, but in fact they make us greater than. Having your own unique approach to life is something to be proud of—not something that must be changed just because it’s not the norm.
Forgetting what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
It’s a cliche saying, but it sure is true. So then why are we so unforgiving of our mistakes? Mistakes/failures happen for you, not to you. For you, so you can grow stronger each day, even if it doesn’t feel like you are.
Letting your inner monologue run you
Deep down, many of us believe that we’re not good enough. Keep your inner dialogue in check and remind yourself that you are indeed, enough.
Not putting criticism in its place
Not all criticism is created equal. Decide who gets to criticize you, dismiss the rest. For those that make the cut, think of their criticism as having the same intent as that of movie critics—in the spirit of creating better art, i.e. a better version of you.
According to the Mayo Clinic, stopping negative self talk actually decreases your risk of depression and cardiovascular disease, and increases your life span, distress levels and overall psychological and physical well-being.
So why not consider these tips to hopefully change your head space for the better.
