In the whirlwind of adulting, friendships become our anchor, our lifeline amidst the chaos. They are more than just incidental relationships; they form our journey and have a tremendous impact on our well-being. This study demonstrates how the quality of your friendships in your 30s can be a good indicator of your well-being in your 50s. 

Recent research delves into the complexities of adult friendships, giving insight into what makes them tick and how to cultivate them for long-term enjoyment. American psychologist Mark Travers, Ph.D., helps us dive into the world of adult friendships and learn how to form deeper ties that last.

Celebrating wins together: the magic of capitalization

Have you ever shared exciting news with a friend only to receive a lackluster response? Yeah, getting something short along the lines of “That’s nice, congratulations” may be somewhat disappointing when communicating a huge win. 

But imagine sharing the same news with a friend who is just as excited as you are. These messages often look more like “Wow I’m so proud of you! All your hard work is finally paying off. I can’t wait to celebrate with you soon and hear all about it.” That’s capitalization in action. It’s all about celebrating and relishing life’s successes together, enhancing the delight and establishing a stronger bond in the process.

When friends celebrate one another’s victories, it strengthens the link and adds an extra sprinkling of joy to life.

So, the next time your friend wins, be the cheerleader they deserve. Your genuine excitement could be the glue that holds your friendship together.

Being there when it counts: the three layers of support

Support comes in a variety of flavors, and each one feels like a warm hug for the spirit. Friendship is essential to our well-being, whether it is extending a helping hand during difficult times or offering a shoulder to cry on.  Support can be divided into three distinct layers:

Practical support:

This kind of support comes in handy on moving day or a DIY disaster. It’s all about rolling up your sleeves and assisting your buddy in confronting life’s obstacles head-on.

Emotional support:

Life may be a rollercoaster, and emotional support serves as a safety net for the soul. It’s about being there for your friends, listening empathetically, and delivering words of consolation when they need them the most.

Autonomy support:

True friendship is about empowering others, not controlling them. Autonomy support is about encouraging your friend to pursue their aspirations, accepting their decisions, and allowing them to be themselves.

Each layer of support deepens and strengthens the friendship, making it more resilient.

Keep the flame alive: nurturing your friendship

Friendship is like a plant: it needs love, attention, and a little water to thrive. But how can you keep the flame lit? Researchers discovered several critical ingredients:

Stay connected: 

Staying in touch has never been easier, thanks to the age of smartphones and social media. Making an effort to keep connected, whether through a brief text or a virtual catch-up session, shows your friends that you value them.

Initiate plans:

Adventures make for great memories, so why not plan some together? Taking the initiative to make plans shows your friend that you respect their company and enjoy your time together.

Active listening:

Communication is important, but so is listening. Be there for your friends, listen when they need to vent, and offer support without judgment.

Be flexible:

Life sometimes throws some unexpected curveballs, so it’s necessary to be adaptable. Show your friend that you are adaptive, prepared to change arrangements, and always available for a last-minute hangout.

Show your appreciation:

Gratitude goes a long way towards friendship. Express your gratitude to your friend, embrace their presence in your life, and treasure the special link you share.

Friendship is a two-way street that requires effort, devotion, and real concern from both parties.

In a nutshell, adult connections enrich our lives by adding flavor, depth, and purpose. By devoting time, energy, and passion to our friendships, we weave a tapestry of connection that enhances our lives in numerous ways.