Episode Description

This week’s solutions news:

Do you ever feel drained just looking at your social calendar? While socializing is so important for our health and longevity, it can leave us feeling exhausted at times. Arielle shares some expert tips on how to keep being social without draining all your energy. Then, Karissa has great news for crafty folks everywhere! She explains the vital role arts and crafts play in our overall well-being, and why you might want to pick up a creative hobby, asap.

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Transcript

Theme music 

Arielle 

Hello and welcome to the Optimist Daily’s Weekly Roundup. I’m Arielle. 

Karissa 

And I’m Karissa and we’re working hard to put solutions in view and optimism and movement. 

Arielle 

Hello everyone! Happy Friday! 

Karissa 

Yeah, happy Friday. We made it through the week! 

Arielle 

Mhm! And we’re back with another episode of our pod to share the solutions from the Optimist Daily this week. So, how’s it going, Karissa? 

Karissa 

Going pretty well, it’s been a very nice week. I was feeling pretty refreshed from my trip last weekend to Lake Tahoe, which was gorgeous. 

Arielle 

Oh, nice. 

Karissa 

Did some hiking and swimming. And it was just a very nice time, but I think I either picked up something there or from my family members having a little bit of some viral infections going on. So, I was a little bit under the weather. So that was a little bit of a downer, but it’s okay. I am feeling not too horrible (laughs). 

Arielle 

Okay! (Laughs).

Karissa 

But not too great (laughs).

Arielle 

Yeah, yeah. You probably wanna take it easy this weekend then. 

Karissa 

Yeah, definitely. I’ll get some much-needed rest. What about you, Arielle? What’s going on on your side of the world? 

Arielle 

Yeah, it’s been a little bit colder again. So, I’m sad about that. But last weekend I also had quite a social time. I had friends who like… 

Karissa 

Mm-hmm. 

Arielle 

…kind of had a surprise visit to Amsterdam, and I know them from my time living in Costa Rica. 

Karissa 

Oh, okay! 

Arielle 

So, I haven’t seen either of them in years. Well, one of them I saw last year, but the other one I hadn’t seen in maybe three years.

Karissa 

Yeah.  

Arielle 

Yeah, it was kind of serendipitous, but I was already feeling pretty socially drained before I found out that they were coming.  

Karissa 

Ahhh. 

Arielle 

And so I had to make some decisions. I luckily have very understanding friends, and I told one of them that I had planned to go to a party with like… months ago we had planned to go to this party, but I told him: I’m so sorry. I feel like I need a little bit of me-time, and some of the friends that I’ve had for a while, who I also haven’t seen in… 

Karissa 

Mm-hmm. 

Arielle 

…years are going to be here this weekend, so I just need to budget my energy, I suppose you could say. 

Karissa 

Totally.

Arielle 

But that does kind of bring me to my solution of the week. If you don’t mind…  

Karissa 

Yeah, go for it Arielle! 

Arielle 

Alright! So, I picked the article that’s titled ‘How to keep being social (without feeling so drained): tips from a psychologist’. And I picked this topic because I think that a lot of us can relate to it. How do we keep being social without feeling completely drained afterwards? Do you ever get that feeling? 

Karissa 

Ohh yeah, totally. It’s sometimes hard to set those boundaries. It just takes a long time to recover from being social for so many days in a row and I feel like I kind of have some introverted tendencies. So, I feel like I definitely need that time to recharge. 

Arielle 

Yeah. Honestly, socializing does leave some of us feeling super wiped out, so let’s break down why this happens.  

Karissa 

Yeah! 

Arielle 

The expert that we are referencing here in this article is psychologist Dr. Perpetua Neo, and she says that one big reason socializing is so draining sometimes is over connectivity. Because we’re constantly plugged in, whether it’s emails, social media text, it’s literally non-stop. So, Dr. Neo says that all of this switching between activities takes a toll on our energy levels, and she puts it like this: The energy cost of switching your attention all the time trumps whatever dopamine boost you get from receiving another ‘like’. 

Karissa 

So, we’re basically draining our batteries before we even start socializing with people. 

Arielle 

Yeah, exactly. And that brings us to another point. Everyone has their own social rhythm, and Dr. Neo suggests that some people can socialize for hours and be fine, while others are done basically after an hour. So, it’s all about knowing your limits. And she even advises tweaking your social interactions based on your energy levels. 

Karissa 

So, if you’re more of a social sprinter than a marathoner, maybe go for shorter hangouts? 

Arielle 

Yeah, precisely. And if you’re not into big crowds, then just don’t force it.  

Karissa 

Mhm. 

Arielle 

Dr. Neo says it’s totally fine to prefer smaller and more intimate gatherings. And she encourages people to embrace their social style rather than trying to be something they’re not. And when I read this, it actually brought me a lot of relief because sometimes I feel like I should be enjoying those really big parties more. But honestly, I’m more of a one-on-one coffee date type of person. 

Karissa 

I feel like I… Well, I can go either way, because I feel like it kind of also depends on who you’re with, who you’re socializing with  

Arielle 

Mhm, yeah. 

Karissa 

Because, you know, some of my closer friends, like, I definitely prefer that one-on-one time, but maybe someone I’m not as close with that would be in like a bit of a bigger group or something, so it definitely depends, because I would like to think a lot of my connections are pretty close. So, I do like a good one-on-one, but I see the value in both. 

Arielle 

I guess I see what you’re saying. I do have like one or two times a year when I go all out. Like if I’m going to a music festival, then I kind of also emotionally prepare for that (laughs). 

Karissa 

Yeah (laughs) totally.  

Arielle 

And yeah, another thing to look out for is emotional labor. So, I guess this kind of goes hand in hand with the one-on-one conversations because depending on who you’re with, it could feel like you’re always the one listening to their problems.  

Karissa 

Yeah.  

Arielle 

So, Dr. Neo recommends setting some boundaries and asking yourself if this person deserves your energy because it’s also about managing your emotional resources so you don’t end up totally exhausted. 

Karissa 

Yeah, I know. I’m definitely guilty of overcommitting to some heavy conversations with people which, like, I like to be there for my friends, but it does get draining. And you know, sometimes you do have to limit yourself or step away from that. 

Arielle 

Yeah, exactly. And… I mean, that’s part of being a good friend as well, being there for the hard conversations. But you also have to protect yourself. And actually, I think there’s an article that we wrote a while back that’s linked in this current article that I’m summarizing right now, but it’s about venting without draining your friends. 

Karissa 

Mm-hmm. 

Arielle 

Because I think there’s like a mindful way that you can do that.   

Karissa 

Yeah. 

Arielle 

Anyway, moving on to the next point.  

Sometimes the stress isn’t just from socializing, it could be all the life stuff… because life gets busy! 

Karissa 

Mhmm.  

Arielle 

And that can make social plans feel more like a chore if you’re already exhausted from other things. So, Dr. Neo says that being upfront with your friends about your energy levels is the best way to go. So, if you’re not feeling up for something, it’s okay to say so. So, kind of like how I was with my friends this past weekend. 

Karissa 

That’s a really good idea because it’s all about honesty, and if you’re burnt out, it’s better to let people know that you’re burnt out than push through and end up resenting it and just feeling even more drained. 

Arielle 

I will say that it also depends on who you’re talking to or who you’ve arranged these plans for, that you’re canceling with. Also on that point, if I get to… if I get to a point in a friendship where I feel like, really uncomfortable about canceling and like really, really guilty, then I also kind of take that into consideration when I’m maybe assessing whether I want to spend more time with this person. Because maybe they’re doing something that makes me uncomfortable to tell them how I’m really feeling.  

Karissa 

Mhm. 

Arielle 

It’s all difficult to juggle, and it can get complicated sometimes, but yeah. 

Karissa 

Yeah, it’s nice when you have those friends that you’re able to be like, you know, I don’t feel up for XY and Z and be able to tell. But like you said, if you’re feeling like you can’t tell them that, then there might be bigger issues at hand. So… (laughs). 

Arielle 

Yeah, red flag (laughs). 

Karissa 

Yeah, (laughs) totally. 

Arielle 

And let’s not forget about social media exhaustion. So, for some people, the socializing doesn’t stop when the event ends. It actually just keeps going online. Dr. Neo reminds us that we should be mindful of who we’re interacting with on social media and focus on what actually strengthens your relationships rather than feeling pressure to post everything. 

Karissa 

Yeah, it’s such a tough one because it’s so easy to get caught up in the scroll, especially when everyone’s posting about the same event you were just at. 

Arielle 

Yeah, I’m always kind of tempted to, like, check what I’ve been tagged in and things and like what people are posting. But since I don’t have Instagram anymore, that’s not a problem (laughs). 

Karissa 

Yeah, exactly.  

Arielle 

The thing is socializing doesn’t have to be draining. So, if you feel like you’re resonating with some of these issues, Dr. Neo offers some tips on how to reclaim that social energy. First, you should choose activities that energize you. Not every social event needs to be a big production, a big dinner out or blah blah blah. It could just be a simple walk. Or like we said before, just grabbing a coffee if that’s more your speed. 

Karissa 

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that. It’s all about finding what works for you and not what’s expected. 

Arielle 

And don’t be afraid to say no to those demanding social events. Dr. Neo also has another tip, and that’s making a ‘to don’t’ list instead of a to-do list.  

Karissa 

(laughs) 

Arielle 

And that is a list of things that you realize consistently drain you, and it’s giving yourself permission to skip the stuff that doesn’t bring you joy. 

Karissa 

I think that’s a very helpful suggestion and it kind of keeps that mental note that, you know, it validates yourself that it’s okay to skip out on things that, you know, don’t make you feel great. 

Arielle 

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it’s like Mari… Kondo-ing…  

Karissa 

Yeah (laughs) 

Arielle 

Is that her name (laughs)? like Mari Kondo-ing your social life? Like, if it doesn’t spark joy, then just don’t do it (laughs) 

Karissa 

Right, definitely (laughs). 

Arielle 

And it’s also important to figure out your social energy quotas.  

Karissa 

Mhm. 

Arielle 

Dr. Neo talks about categorizing your energy levels. Like ‘basic minimum’ is one category and ‘regular’ is another category. And ‘awesome to have’ is another. And that way you can plan your social calendar according to how much energy you actually have.

Karissa 

That’s really smart. It’s kind of like budgeting but for your energy. 

Arielle 

And don’t forget to schedule some me time in there as well. Dr. Neo says just spending time with yourself is crucial for recharging and that way when you do decide to socialize, you can really be present and there to enjoy it. 

Karissa 

Definitely. I’m all about that me time. And spending time with yourself is, you know, equally as important as socializing with everyone else. So… 

Arielle 

And me time is really, really crucial, especially during those super social seasons like the holidays. Or… Yeah. In my case, like a big music festival or something. 

Karissa 

Yeah (laughs) 

Arielle 

If you know that’s coming up, plan ahead so that you don’t run out of steam. Dr. Neo even stresses including some low-key, chill relaxing social activities during those busy times to keep you connected. But you know, without overextending yourself. 

Karissa 

Yeah, that’s super solid advice. It’s all about balance, right? 

Arielle 

The bottom line is socializing doesn’t have to be a drain. By understanding your social needs and setting some smart boundaries, you can actually enjoy your social life without feeling wiped out. And Dr. Neo reminds us that we go further together. So yeah, I guess it’s just a reminder to make those social moments count. 

Karissa 

Well, I really liked the solution. There were a lot of great tips and it’s something you know, we all go through. So… 

Arielle 

Yeah, and um, since we were talking about me time, I think some activities that are in your solution could be nice things to think about doing while you’re spending time with yourself! 

Karissa 

Yeah, totally. I’ll move on over to my solution and talk a little bit more about arts and crafts! 

Arielle 

Yes! 

Karissa 

The title of my solution is Creative pursuits: how arts and crafts can boost life satisfaction even more than work. But before I dive in, Arielle, do you engage in any sort of arts and crafts? 

Arielle 

Well, I’m a big fan of crocheting, but I just recently started.  

Karissa 

Mhm.  

Arielle 

And in our team meeting earlier I showed the team… 

Both 

(Laugh)  

Arielle 

…the beginning of a cat pod that I’m crocheting, so yeah, crochet is one of my favorite ones. And when I do have the time and I’m not afraid to, like, make a mess that I’ll have to clean up later then watercolor is also a fav. And tomorrow my friend and I are going to do vision boards. 

Karissa 

Ooh, fun.  

Arielle 

Does that count? 

Karissa 

I think so! I mean, you definitely have to tap into your creative side for that. 

Arielle 

So yeah, vision boards, collaging. Yeah, I like to think that I’m an active participant in arts and crafty things. 

Karissa 

Very nice.  

Arielle 

Yeah. How about you?  

Karissa 

Oh, yeah. I’ve always really been a huge fan of arts and crafts. I can remember, like being younger. And, you know, my eyes lighting up at the sight of, you know, glue and jewels and feathers, like on the table and stuff or…  

Arielle 

(Laughs) 

Karissa 

Or just even like coloring something. And I think, like the first thing that I ever wanted to be was an artist. And I don’t… I’m not like that artistic (laughs). 

Arielle 

But you… (laughs) you have fun with it. 

Karissa 

Yeah, I am artistic. But I wouldn’t consider myself, you know, like a high-level artist or anything.  

Both 

(Laugh) 

Karissa 

But yeah, I’ve always really enjoyed crafts. In recent years all my craft bins of things have come together and made an entire dresser filled, which is very nice. 

Arielle 

Ohh wow. 

Karissa 

And there’s still some stuff under my bed.  

Both 

(Laugh) 

Karissa 

And so, yeah, I definitely do lots of arts and crafts, and I guess it’s always been such a big part of my life, but I haven’t really realized it until recent years. How much I really love it. And I always kind of describe it as my old lady hobbies I guess (laughs), but not even! Because a lot of people do love arts and crafts, and as we’re seeing in this solution, it’s actually a key to well-being. 

Arielle 

Yes.  

Karissa 

You know, in a society where productivity and work are often considered the markers of success, it’s encouraging to learn that creative hobbies may hold the key to a happier, more fulfilled life. And recent research has shown that arts and crafts such as painting, knitting, photography and everything we were just talking about can have a significant impact on our overall life satisfaction. Sometimes even more than work.  

Arielle 

Great! That’s great news. 

Karissa 

Yeah, so this emerging evidence suggests that fostering creativity could be a powerful tool for improving public health and enhancing individual well-being. Artsy activities like painting, ceramics and photography have long been known to provide therapeutic advantages, particularly in clinical settings.  

However, Dr. Helen Keyes of Anglia Ruskin University and her colleagues adopted a broader approach, looking at how these activities affect the overall population. Their findings, published in the journal Frontiers in Public Health, offer new light on the power of arts and crafts to improve our happiness and sense of purpose. And Dr. Keyes says it’s quite an affordable, accessible and ultimately popular thing for people to do. And that’s key. You’re not going to be shoving something down people’s throats that they don’t want to do. And these activities are appealing and accessible, making them a viable choice for improving public health. 

Arielle 

How did they research this topic? Because I feel like arts and crafts is such a… a broad thing to study. 

Karissa 

The study looked at data from more than 7000 people aged 16 and above who took part in the UK Department for Culture, Media and Sport’s ‘Taking Part’ survey between April 2019 and March 2020, and the participants were asked to score several elements of their well-being on a 10 point scale and to indicate if they had participated in any arts and crafts activities in the previous year.  

And the findings that they got from this were very compelling. Thirty-seven percent of individuals engaged in some type of creative activity. Those who did so consistently reported better levels of enjoyment, life satisfaction and a sense of purpose in life than those who did not engage in such activities. And these findings remain true even after controlling for other factors such as age, gender, economic position and overall health. The study found that participating in arts and crafts increased happiness in a way that was comparable to the natural increase in well-being that occurred over the course of 20 years. And, more strikingly, the sense of purpose in life was more strongly associated with crafting than with employment. 

Arielle 

That’s a really interesting finding, especially because in our culture we really associate work with our, you know, just life satisfaction in general and how we see ourselves. 

Karissa 

Yeah, totally. It’s definitely like a startling, in kind of a good way, conclusion that crafting offered a greater sense of purpose than employment. But this could be because not everyone finds their job rewarding, and I think that’s like pretty common and stuff like our purpose in life isn’t necessarily for working, but creative hobbies can provide a sense of mastery, control and self-expression, whereas we might not be getting that in our work, which is totally okay. But it’s very interesting to find. 

Arielle 

So, did this study find that certain types of arts and crafts were better in promoting well-being? 

Karissa 

This study didn’t look into the impact of specific creative hobbies, but the overarching conclusion is definitely clear: that indulging in any type of creative activity can considerably improve your well-being. Even though the improvement in life satisfaction associated with arts and crafts was modest (approximately 2%) Dr. Keyes stressed that it is still significant at the population level.  

And Dr. Keyes says if you’re a National Health Service or you’re a government seeing a 2% increase in the overall well-being of your population is going to be really significant. Because 2% can encompass a lot of people. Yeah, the consequences of this study are definitely substantial because supporting and promoting creative activities may be a cost-effective and accessible method for governments and health organizations seeking to improve national well-being.  

And arts and crafts are really a simple method to engage people in activities that greatly improve their quality of life. And this can encompass like everybody of every age in improving their well-being, so… I think the power of arts and crafts is highly underrated and we gotta look into it more (laughs). 

Arielle 

Yeah, this is a great finding, especially with how much our world struggles with stress and mental health challenges. And yeah, arts, I feel like when we talk about funding arts programs, we’re always talking about like people who are really into fine art or who are performing at a really high level. But that doesn’t mean that we should forget just about like the average person who likes to bedazzle their jean jacket, you know? (Laughs) 

Karissa 

Yeah, exactly! 

Arielle 

It doesn’t have to be like a really big production. 

Karissa 

Yeah, exactly. Really encouraging people to express their creative side. Because it can make such a difference. Dr. Keyes and her team’s results provide a really refreshing perspective, which is: often the simplest things can have the greatest impacts, something I love to say all the time.  

Arielle 

Yeah.  

Karissa 

So, whether you’re an experienced artist or just starting a new hobby, the message is very clear. Embrace your creativity, it might just result in a happier, more fulfilling existence. 

Arielle 

Amazing. No, that’s… that’s great. I’m just gonna keep crocheting through the night then (laughs). 

Karissa 

Yeah, keep crocheting. Keep working on that cat pod Arielle! Because it’ll definitely make you very happy (laughs). 

Arielle 

Yeah. If it’s a success, then maybe I’ll… I’ll make one for you. And send it over to California! 

Karissa 

(Laughs) True! I would absolutely love that! I was going to mention that earlier. I was like, if it works out… (laughs). I have a cat! But yeah, I think that’s also kind of just one more point. Arts and crafts can be fulfilling in that way too, because you can make things for other people and connect and, you know, socialize without getting drained (laughs). 

Arielle 

Yeah, exactly (laughs). Well, this was a great roundup of solutions, yet again. We have some other great solutions from this week that you can find on our website Optimistdaily.com and they include: 

Karissa 

The FCC launches nationwide alert system to protect and serve missing Indigenous people. Power in your pocket: how smartphones are revolutionizing earthquake detection and alerts. How integrated environmental projects balance nature conservation and people’s well-being. And Six ways to combat jet lag naturally, and actually, if you’re finishing up those summer vacations, you might need this. 

Arielle 

And we also have: Sea Lion film crew helps with ocean floor mapping and species conservation. Three tips for dealing with extreme fatigue when sleep is not an option. Uh… so many times when I’m in this situation (laughs). 

Karissa 

Yeah, same! 

Arielle 

How to wash your fruits and veggies like a microbiologist, and Is ‘smart insulin’ the Holy Grail of insulin? Advances in real-time diabetes management. 

Karissa 

Nice. Lots of good solutions, so go check them out! And if you want to start your day off right, make sure to subscribe to our free daily newsletter to get our solutions straight to your inbox. 

Arielle 

We also have a lot more on our social channels. You can find us @optimistdaily on all of our platforms. That includes Threads and Pinterest. The only different one is on X. There we are @OdetoOptimism. 

Karissa 

And we’re a small team of optimists working hard to bring you positive news. If you want to support our mission of putting optimism into the world, click on the link in the show notes to find out how. 

Arielle 

Support doesn’t always have to be financial. Even just recommending our podcast to a friend, leaving a positive review on Apple or Spotify, or forwarding a link to a loved one, sharing a solution on your socials. Anything like that would be a huge help for us. 

Karissa 

Well, that’s all we have for today, but I’m looking forward to sharing some more solutions next week with you, Arielle. 

Arielle 

And I hope our listeners also have a nice and crafty weekend.  

Karissa 

Or social weekend without being drained! (Laughs). 

Arielle 

Yeah, precisely (laughs). And yeah, I guess until next week. Bye! 

Karissa 

Bye!