BY THE OPTIMIST DAILY EDITORIAL TEAM

Charisma may appear to be something you are born with or without, yet research indicates that it is a skill you can develop. Consider the most magnetic person you know: a former boss who enthralled every meeting, or a buddy who actually makes you feel heard. Ulrich Jensen, PhD, an associate professor at Arizona State University who studies leadership, defines charisma as “a specific set of stylistic expressions you can build into your communication.” According to Dr. Jensen, charisma is a learnable talent that everyone may use to make greater connections.

Charismatic behaviors have been demonstrated to engage people, develop trust, and even motivate action. In 2023, Dr. Jensen and his team examined 350 speeches given by U.S. governors during the epidemic and discovered that governors who employed compelling language were more likely to persuade people to follow safety guidelines. “They’re thought of as more trustworthy, more competent,” he jokes. And the best part? You can use similar strategies in everyday interactions, such as a job interview, a social gathering, or even a family supper.

Here’s an overview of what makes someone charismatic and how you may apply a few basic strategies to boost your own charisma, regardless of your personality type.

1. Begin with a personal story

Charisma is more than just the way you speak or present yourself. It’s about connecting with others through the stories you tell. “One of the most important ways you can be more charismatic is to think about how you want to present yourself to others,” Dr. Jensen says. To captivate others, tell a brief tale about yourself that matches your ideals. For Dr. Jensen, this includes sharing his experience of traveling to the United States with only a backpack, which led to a life full of family and purpose.

To make your tale more relevant, try adding some humor or vulnerability. “I share how the A/C in my new hometown, Phoenix, was broken on arrival in 100-degree weather,” he says. This vulnerability, along with a sense of humor, makes the story more compelling, allowing listeners to relate to you on a personal level.

2. Discover your charisma type

Charisma is not a one-size-fits-all concept; rather, it is about discovering what best suits your strengths. Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, categorizes charisma into three types: power, warmth, and presence. Each of these types has a unique way of engaging with people.

• Power: Those with a “power” charisma exude confidence and can easily take charge, like someone who would know exactly how to handle a crisis.

• Warmth: People with “warmth” are compassionate and approachable, making others feel genuinely cared for, much like the Dalai Lama.

• Presence: People with “presence” have the ability to make others feel like they’re the sole focus of attention, even in a brief encounter. Bill Clinton, who is notorious for making every interaction feel special, is an excellent example.

Cabane proposes that you ask yourself questions to determine which style best matches you. Do you have a natural ability to maintain complete focus on others during a conversation? That is presence. Do you feel comfortable leading a group? That is power. If you excel at compassion and empathy, you are probably a warm person. Whatever your technique, Cabane advises, “Understand that charisma is actually less about how people feel about you and more about how you make them feel about themselves.”

3. Prepare to feel confident

Confidence is vital for charisma, and Cabane suggests simple techniques to develop it before any social contact. First, dress in a way that makes you feel both comfortable and confident. “People react to your body language first and your words second or third, so it’s important to be comfortable,” she notes.

Visualization is another strong strategy that athletes frequently utilize to achieve top performance. “Your mental state is everything because whatever is in your mind, your body will then manifest,” Cabane explains. To practice visualization, recall a time when you felt especially proud or accomplished. Focusing on that moment can encourage positive body language, allowing you to enter any space with comfort and confidence.

4. Prevent imposter syndrome

Even the most charismatic people can get imposter syndrome. Cabane notes that imposter syndrome is frequent and can undermine your innate charisma. “You cannot be charismatic if you’re beating yourself up at the same time,” she tells me. Cabane suggests recalling a period when someone praised or valued you to counterbalance negative thoughts. This easy visualization exercise promotes self-compassion, which leads to warmth and openness in encounters.

5. Accept charisma as an introvert

It is a prevalent misperception that charm necessitates extraversion. Laurie Helgoe, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author, helps introverted workers improve their presence in the workplace. According to Dr. Helgoe, it’s entirely normal to feel exhausted in social circumstances at times. “There’s this automatic association between socializing and having fun, but that’s not the case for a good chunk of the population,” she tells me.

Helgoe advises introverts to view charm as a tool rather than a personality attribute. This thinking adjustment can help you perceive charisma as a skill to cultivate and use as needed, whether it’s to tell a personal story, demonstrate empathy, or make someone feel truly heard. As Dr. Jensen points out, “Your values and ideas count for everything.” If you can convey these honestly, people will be drawn to your honesty, dazzling smile or not.

Charisma is within everyone’s reach

Charisma is not just for extroverts or natural leaders; it is something that everyone can develop. Whether you’re conducting a meeting, attending a party, or simply catching up with friends, using these charisma-building strategies will help you connect with others more effectively. Accept your particular abilities, tell your story with confidence, and remember that even modest gestures of attention can have a big impact.

As Dr. Jensen puts it: “Charisma is a specific set of stylistic expressions you can build into your communication.” Don’t stress about reinventing yourself. Focus on the ideals you want to communicate and the abilities you already have, and your charisma will shine through.