BY THE OPTIMIST DAILY EDITORIAL TEAM

Imagine it’s a typical night, and you’re curled up on the couch, casually watching re-runs of your favorite series while texting your group chat. You’re catching up on weekend highlights, sharing work wins, and exchanging dinner pics—all without ever hearing a friend’s voice. It feels like real conversation, right? Well, not quite.

Texting is convenient and efficient, but when it comes to fostering real connection, a good old-fashioned phone call wins every time. In fact, outgoing U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, MD, has been raising alarm bells about the loneliness epidemic and its serious effects on mental and physical health, from depression to heart disease. His advice? Strengthening our personal connections is one of the simplest ways to combat loneliness—and calling a friend instead of texting is an easy way to start.

Why calls create stronger bonds

“Calling is simply more personal and informative than texting,” says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a therapist based in New York City. “It’s a much richer way to understand another’s internal experience.”

Think about the difference between reading a book and watching a movie. When you read, your brain fills in the gaps, making inferences and interpretations. That’s how texting works, too—leaving plenty of room for differences in understanding. But a phone call? It’s more like watching a movie, where tone, intonation, and emotion paint a fuller picture. “A voice provides an emotional picture, while a text is limited and one-dimensional,” Firstein explains.

And before you worry that you need an hour-long slot for a meaningful call, think again. “It’s not so much about the length of a phone call, but the content of the phone call,” says psychologist Yasmine Saad, PhD. Even a short, heartfelt chat can make you feel instantly more connected.

When texting still makes sense

Of course, texting isn’t the enemy. It has its place—especially when making plans, sending quick updates, or sharing memes that don’t require a deep conversation. “Texting is an appropriate way to make plans, change plans, or just say a quick hello,” Firstein notes.

For some people, texting even acts as a buffer. “If you have a tendency to tune in to the negative, texting may help you connect,” explains Dr. Saad. It allows for more control over the conversation, reducing anxiety. That said, if you’re feeling lonely or disconnected, a phone call is often the better choice. The key is knowing when to step out of your comfort zone.

4 simple ways to make calling a habit

If the idea of calling more often makes you hesitate, you’re not alone. Many people worry about awkward silences or don’t know how to start. Here’s how to make calling feel effortless and natural:

1. Embrace the imperfection

Worried about a call being awkward? It might be—but that’s okay! “Anticipate that the conversation might not be perfect, and let go of the pressure,” advises Dr. Saad. A small stumble in conversation doesn’t mean the call is a failure. In fact, it’s part of what makes real human interactions so valuable. The more you practice, the easier it will get.

2. Make a call list

Firstein admits that even she doesn’t always look forward to calling people, but she knows it’s good for her. Her solution? A call list. “I force myself to make a list of people I have not spoken to,” she says. “And then just sit down and do it. It feels so good afterward.”

Try writing down five people you’d love to catch up with but haven’t in a while. Schedule one call a week—it’s a simple step that can make a big difference.

3. Set a clear goal for the call

Before dialing, take a moment to think about why you’re calling. “Identify what you want out of that conversation and orient it toward that,” suggests Dr. Saad. Maybe you want to share something funny, get advice, or just hear a familiar voice. Setting an intention will help you feel more confident and make the conversation more rewarding.

4. Call the right person at the right time

Just as different friends serve different roles in our lives, they also make for different kinds of conversations. Before you call, consider what you need from the chat. Looking for a pep talk? Call the friend who always lifts your spirits. Need to vent? Choose someone who’s a great listener. Being intentional about whom you call ensures a more fulfilling experience.

A small habit with big impact

In a world where digital communication often replaces real conversation, making an effort to call more can be a simple but powerful step toward stronger relationships. As Dr. Saad puts it, “Connection can happen within a minute if it’s the right content.”

So next time you reach for your phone to send a text, consider a good old-fashioned phone call instead. You might be surprised at just how much a short call can brighten your day—and someone else’s.